Monthly Archives: August 2012

Movie Reviews: “My Week with Marilyn” and “Midnight in Paris”

Posted on by
3

This month I’ve watched a couple films with literary themes, and I’m finally getting around to letting you know what I think of them. Don’t worry, I’ve got two books to review in the near future, but let’s just say life has been throwing me so many curve-balls at once that they got put on the back-burner temporarily.

Image via Wikipedia

“My Week with Marilyn” (2011)

Rating: 4 out of 5

This British drama directed by Simon Curtis stars Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe and Eddie Redmayne as Colin Clark, a young man yearning to become a filmmaker who has the chance to work with Monroe on her movie, “The Prince and the Showgirl” in 1956. This film was adapted from the real Clark’s tell-all book, titled The Prince, The Showgirl and Me.

The movie follows Clark’s infatuation with Monroe, as she struggles to make her mark in the acting world. She is portrayed as very capricious, reflective and insightful one moment, hysterical and popping pills the next. Williams does an excellent job depicting Monroe’s constant need for validation, and her inner turmoil which causes her to incite so many extramarital affairs (as she is married to third husband, playwright Arthur Miller, at the time).

Because of her fickle nature, Clark gets his heart broken and learns a valuable lesson about love. The movie’s production ends, and so does their short relationship. Actress Emma Watson is adorable playing a much more realistic love interest for Clark: It must have been hard watching men fall to the feet of Monroe on a daily basis!

And I think that’s the best part about this film. Even though I am not obsessed with Monroe like some young women, because I refuse to ignore her dark side, this movie highlights that juxtaposition between admired actress and disturbed young woman. She may have a screw loose at times, but you fall in love with her anyways, just like Clark.

Even if you’re not a Monroe fan, you’ll enjoy this film. (Rotten Tomatoes rating: 84%)

Image via Wikipedia

“Midnight in Paris” (2011)

Rating: 3 out of 5

I was more skeptical watching this film, because I don’t really like Woody Allen, but this romantic comedy directed by him wasn’t terrible. I liked the premise, which follows American Gil Pender (played by Owen Wilson) as he spends a vacation with his fiancee (Rachel McAdams) in Paris.

Pender’s a screenwriter who glorifies Paris in the 1920s, where literary expatriates reigned supreme. Then, after getting drunk one midnight, he finds himself actually in the ’20s meeting the same authors and artists he admires. It was fun watching Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Picasso, and others shown on screen, and all the actors did a great job with their characters.

I just wish that I could’ve liked Pender more. Most of the time he comes off obnoxious, and I feel his fiancee’s frustration. It’s clear from the beginning that they’re very incompatible. However, I enjoyed Allen’s message that we shouldn’t dream of a “Golden Age,” because living in the past takes away from the present moment. And the people and places you may consider perfect might actually yearn for an even earlier time.

Again, Woody Allen’s not my cup of tea, but the film got rave reviews, so if you can’t get enough of this literary era, check it out for yourself (Rotten Tomatoes rating: 93%)

Masterpiece Monday: “Roads Go Ever Ever On” by J.R.R. Tolkien

Posted on by
4

[UPDATE 8/30/12: Much to my surprise, a new road was presented to me at the last minute. By that, I mean I have accepted an even more amazing opportunity as Marketing Coordinator for a supercomputer company. Although the road took an abrupt turn, I wish everyone the best in regards to my former position, and I'm excited to begin this new journey!]

It’s been a crazy week, I must say! I’ve officially accepted a new job as a Community Executive for a tech company in the Silicon Valley, and I just moved into my new apartment! It’s been so hectic and stressful, but also very exciting. This is an amazing opportunity in my life, and I’m so happy to be along for the ride!

When it comes to stories about travels and journeys, nobody does it like J.R.R. Tolkien. When I contemplate this new chapter in the book that is my life, I think about one of Tolkien’s most famous poems, called “Roads Go Ever Ever On.” The poem takes on many adaptations in The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings; part of it was even sung by Bilbo and Gandalf in “The Fellowship of the Ring” film.

It’s such a wonderful poem about enjoying the roads you take in life, even if you don’t know where you’re headed. I love how he writes so much beauty into the unknown, and it reminds me to be grateful for every step and not focus so heavily on the destination.

Here’s the poem in its entirety:

Roads go ever ever on,
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea;
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June,
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.

Roads go ever ever on,
Under cloud and under star.
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen,
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green,
And trees and hills they long have known.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way,
Where many paths and errands meet.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with weary feet,
Until it joins some larger way,
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone.
Let others follow, if they can!
Let them a journey new begin.
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet.

Still ’round the corner there may wait
A new road or secret gate;
And though I oft have passed them by,
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.

Lovely descriptions, beautiful melody, and a wonderful message. What else could you ask of a poem?

One thing I’ll add though, is that my road may take me to a place where I won’t be able to blog with as much frequency. I’ll take it one day at a time, but if I have to hedge Masterpiece Monday, I’ll let you know. My goal is to write at least weekly, but it’s all tentative right now.

And I think that’s how Tolkien would’ve wanted it…

Masterpiece Monday: East of Eden

Posted on by
Reply

Image via Goodreads

Rating: 4 out of 5

Here in California, you’re pretty much obligated to respect John Steinbeck. King of Salinas, most high school students take a trip to visit his museum in the city (a trip I highly recommend, by the way). Many of those students have also been spending their summer vacations reading his hefty novel East of Eden, and now that school’s back in session, they’ll be gearing up for plenty of essays and assignments on the tale.

Published in 1952, East of Eden follows two families: the Trasks and the Hamiltons. While I won’t divulge into the multiple generations of these intricate family trees, I will give some summary on the major characters. Brothers Charles and Adam Trask are the novel’s first versions of the biblical Cain and Abel.

Adam marries the devious Cathy Ames, and they become the parents of Caleb and Aron, which if their names are any indicator, also are Cain and Abel incarnate. Growing up believing their mother to be dead, they’re shocked to learn that she’s actually a prostitute who goes by the name “Kate.” The novel’s ending deals with the aftermath of the boys’ emotional trauma and their attempts to mend their relationships with their father.

Depending on your version, East of Eden easily clocks in at 500-600 pages, which is why teachers make it required reading during the summer. My teacher also instructed us to research a list of biblical allusions, given that Steinbeck includes tons of them in the novel, such the mark of Cain, the prodigal son, and my brother’s keeper.

Steinbeck has been quoted saying that he believes East of Eden is his best work, and although I have only read one other novel of his, Of Mice and Men, I would have to agree. His descriptions of the Salinas Valley are unbeatable, and his characters have rich arcs of development. Yes, it’s a long read, but it’s worth the challenge.

After you finish reading the novel, you can treat yourself to the 1955 film adaption, directed by Elia Kazan and starring James Dean as “Cal” (Caleb). It’s an excellent movie, which won at the Academy Awards, Golden Globes, and Cannes Film Festival. And did I mention that James Dean is in it?

Do you even need another reason to watch this film?

So whether you’ve read East of Eden, watched the movie, or have an opinion on Steinbeck in general, be sure to share your thoughts in the comment section! Swooning over James Dean also perfectly acceptable!

Favorite Quote: “And this I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual. This is what I am and what I am about.”

Movie Review: Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Pt. 1

Posted on by
3

Rating: 1 out of 5

I’m about half-way done with Kafka’s The Trial, which keeps getting stranger and stranger. The gist of the story is that the protagonist has been accused of a crime that he doesn’t even know if he committed, since no one will tell him any details of his case. At one point, he complains about the incompetency of a few officials, only to find them being tortured while at work.

You know what else was torture? Having to watch the latest Twilight film.

Earlier this month, my younger brother, his girlfriend, and I were messing around and playing games when we decided to watch the movie, ironically, of course. We’d have a laugh making fun of the whole thing, and then I’d be able to blog about it for all of you.

I just want to say that I hope you’re grateful that I watched this horrendous movie, so you don’t have to. I apologize for the review being so late, since it debuted last November, but how can you muster up enthusiasm for a film that you know is going to suck?

I’m not insulting it because I hate Twilight. In fact, I read the series in 2007, the summer before my freshman year of college. I gobbled up the first three novels before Twilight’s adaptation even premiered, because I’m such a sucker for romance. This is embarrassing to reveal, but I also went to the midnight release of the fourth and final novel Breaking Dawn.

And that’s where my hatred of Twilight started. If you don’t know the story, let me sum it up for you: Bella is madly in love with vampire Edward and wants to consummate their relationship, but Edward, being the old-fashioned guy that he is, wants to wait until they’re married.

You mean to tell me you couldn’t make a better dress with this movie budget?

So at 18-years-old, Bella marries Edward, then they jet off together on a tropical honeymoon. They finally have sex, which is a rare feat between a human and vampire, because vampires normally kill their lovers due to their bloodlust.

And because she didn’t think she could get pregnant by a vampire, Bella didn’t concern herself with contraception. She becomes impregnated with a hybrid baby, which develops rapidly and is essentially destroying her from the inside out.

I hope you learned your lesson, Bella…

As if this story couldn’t get any more self-righteous, Bella and her vampire family fight about whether to abort the baby, but Bella decides to keep it and realizes that drinking blood helps the situation a bit. When she finally goes into labor (her father-in-law’s a doctor, conveniently), Edward is forced to turn her into a vampire before the baby breaks all her bones and kills her.

That’s where “Breaking Dawn, Pt. 1″ ends. Director Bill Condon decided to copy the “Harry Potter” series and divide the last installment into two films, the second of which will be released this November. Thus, I gave this movie only one star not just because it sucked, but because the book also sucked.

I’ll admit that I’m a socially liberal feminist, so I did not appreciate how author Stephenie Meyer’s Mormonism influenced Breaking Dawn. I felt like it was a poorly-written glorification of teen marriage and parenthood. Instead of throwing her whole life away for a guy, why couldn’t Bella go to college, find a steady job, and meet someone who doesn’t have anger and control issues? That wouldn’t be nearly as popular with the Twihards, but I question the values supported in this series and their effects of these impressionable fangirls.

Besides the dangerous piety, the movie was just plain boring. There was absolutely no reason to split this story up, because there simply wasn’t enough action to warrant it. This film drew out the wedding, honeymoon, and pregnancy to excessive lengths–two hours to be exact. I’m afraid that all movie adaptations of books will imitate the “Harry Potter” strategy (“The Hunger Games” is already on board with the idea), whether it’s needed or not. Hollywood should care less about profits and more about creating an engaging finale.

All in all, “Breaking Dawn, Pt. 1″ was dull, slow, cheesy, melodramatic, and accompanied by an obnoxiously loud and annoying soundtrack. It deserves its 25% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Not to mention, I watched it after the Kristen Stewart cheating scandal broke it, so her romance with her co-star/now-ex-boyfriend Robert Pattinson was not very convincing. That’s not saying much, since Stewart’s acting abilities were never convincing.

The only Stewart that Robert Pattinson needs!

I’m sure that I’ll watch Pt. 2 when it comes out on DVD, just to be rid of this overrated series. It’s sad that I was such a huge supporter of the books before the bandwagon exploded, but this last novel completely ruined the saga for me.

However, there is a silver lining. Meyer must be aware of how much Breaking Dawn sucked, because she’s changed the ending for the last movie. It’s going to be super awkward to watch Stewart and Pattinson make their rounds on the talk shows for publicity amidst their real-life drama, but who knows? Maybe their characters will be obliterated in some sort of freak accident.

Here’s to hoping, anyway.

Masterpiece Monday: Bacchae

Posted on by
Reply

Image via Tower.com

Rating: 5 out of 5

I don’t mean to update so late, but I’m running on fumes right now. It’s back-to-school season, and I’ve been putting in major hours at the tutoring center. This week I’m teaching an ACT class, and the essay prompt for today had to do with arguing whether or not libraries should offer R-rated movies and books to those underage.

I know most of you would be against any kind of censorship, since it violates a reader’s first amendment, and my students were of the same mind as well. One of the first literary works I thought of that would be on the chopping block was Euripides’ Bacchae. If you haven’t read this play yet, you’re in for a doozy!

Euripides was, in my opinion, the most bad-ass of the ancient Greek tragedians, since his plays were full of brutal material. I’ve already reviewed his more famous work, Medea, and if you thought a story about a mother killing her own children to get back at her husband was insane, Bacchae is even more outrageous.

The play follows Dionysus, the Greek god of wine and partying. Dionysus’ origin story is multifaceted, but in this version, he’s out to avenge his mortal mother Semele, who was killed after she slept with Zeus. As these affairs usually go, Zeus’ wife Hera became jealous and convinced Semele to ask to see Zeus’ divine form. Appearing as a lightning bolt, she was obliterated instantly.

In a bizarre twist, Zeus is able to sew the unborn Dionysus into his own thigh until the baby is ready to be born. At the beginning of Bacchae, Dionysus comes to the city of Thebes to punish the rest of Semele’s family, who accused her of lying when she revealed that she was an immortal’s lover.

Semele’s sister Agave is the mother of Theban king Pentheus, who has banned the city from worshiping Dionysus. If you guessed that something terrible is going to happen to this young man, you would be correct.

Telling you exactly how Pentheus meets his doom would be spoiling the whole reading experience, but I will tell you that  it is crazy and gory. I certainly wouldn’t say this is middle-school material, but I think you guys are old enough to handle it.

One thing I’d like to add, however, is that Euripides is an amazing playwright, so don’t think he relies on shock value alone. Although the moral of the story is to respect and honor the gods, he manages to include apt political and cultural commentary of his time period. Thousands of years later, we can still learn so much from Euripides.

Favorite Quote: “Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.”

Book Review: The Innocents

Posted on by
1

Image via Goodreads

Rating: 4 out of 5

I was pleased with Francesca Segal’s The Innocents, her modern adaptation of Edith Wharton’s The Age of Innocence. Wharton’s novel is one of my favorites, and you can read my review here.

To sum up the original story, it follows the forbidden romance between Newland Archer, engaged to the simple-minded May Welland, and Ellen Olenska, May’s scandalous cousin. It’s a quintessential battle between love and societal obligation.

Segal’s version is basically the same plot, but swaps the New York elite of the 1870s for the Jewish community in today’s London.  Adam Newman is also a lawyer, and the object of his desire Ellie Schneider faces similar judgment for her provocative behavior.

But even if you’ve read The Age of Innocence, Segal provides an engaging adaptation with plenty of unique aspects. No one can compete with Wharton’s prose, but Segal’s writing is insightful, offering cultural commentary on what it’s like to be part of a Jewish family.

The characters were also multidimensional: You feel angry with Adam’s quickness to commit adultery, but at the same time, you understand his frustration from passively submitting to his high school sweetheart-fiance instead of experiencing more of the world.

The Innocents is an apt reminder that lovers not only enter into a relationship with each other, but also with one another’s friends and family. It’s so important to know who you are and what you want, because although you should respect those closest to you, you should not let them dictate how to live your life.

I won’t spoil the ending, but Wharton fans won’t be surprised. Adam soon realizes what’s at stake when a whirlwind of lust threatens his solidifying future, and I enjoyed his emotional journey as he decides whether to take the risk. Wharton will always be queen of her story, but Segal certainly makes the royal court.

Blog Tag, I’m It!

Posted on by
9

Ok, I’ve been nominated for quite a few blogging “awards,” and I’m usually horrible at forwarding the virtual chain letter and nominating more people. But this is the first time I’ve ever been blog-tagged, so I’ll do my due diligence and play! I was tagged by Tanya from Green Paw-Paw, so I’ll be answering her questions.

So what’s Blog Tag? Here’s how it works:

The Rules

1. I must post the rules.

2. I must answer the questions the tagger listed for me.

3. I must create (or reuse) 11 questions for those I tag.

4. I must tag 11 people.

5. I must let them know they’ve been tagged.

The Questions

1. If you had the power to ban a certain book, or certain kinds of books, however productive the outcome may be (think Twilight or Oliver’s Story), even if you knew a huge majority of readers might thank you for it, would you?

Easy. I would love for the 50 Shades of Grey bandwagon to die a horribly violent death, so I would ban the series and revoke E.L. James’ writing license since she has certainly abused her title as an author with her crappy books. Then I would go tell all her delusional fans to visit AdultFanFiction.net, because that’s where this story belongs. They get their fill of poorly written, often disturbing erotica, and I never have to hear the phrase “inner goddess” again. Win-win.

2. What is one book you wish you had written?

What a question! Well, if I could have contributed a mere paragraph to Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings, I’d call my life a success. But the books I wish I had written are the ones that exist as mere ideas in my notebooks. Hopefully, they’ll become more than ideas and somebody one day will wish she had written my books. Fingers crossed anyway!

3. You have finally achieved world domination and as new king/queen of the world, you need to fashion yourself a crown. But of course, you’re too cool for precious metals and the like. What would your crown be/be made of?

Um, mithril? If it’s good enough for Frodo, it’s good enough for me!

4. Have you ever wondered how a doggie biscuit tastes and wanted to try?

I guess I’ve wondered, but I’ve made doggie biscuits before, so I know they’d be pretty dry and bland. But maybe that’s just because cooking’s not my forte.

5. Is there a book that you weren’t able to complete for whatever reason, but lied about it and told people you did? Which one?

Pride and Prejudice. I’ve only read 50 pages, but I’ll nod my head when people talk about it because I’ve heard the story enough times. These conversations usually go like this: “Yes, of course, I’ve read it…Mr. Darcy? I know, what a catch…But not as good as Heathcliff, amiright? No? Well, never mind then…”

6. Your choice of instant pick-me-up food?

Mashed potatoes and gravy. Jamba Juice Caribbean Passion smoothies. Dark chocolate. Bagels. This Armenian lasagna dish called souboreg. Nutella. (Obviously, not all at once or mixed together!)

7. If there was an appendage you could add to the human anatomy (wings, talons, a tail…), what would it be?

Wings, but only if they could be retractable. I don’t need people running into each other’s wings or leaving feathers all over the place. Put those suckers back in when you’re done with them!

8. If you could go back in time and stop a famous event from taking place, what would it be and why?

I’ll be completely biased here and say the Armenian Genocide. You can read my post about this tragedy here. Knowledge is power, so do your research and help achieve global recognition. Please and thanks!

9,10,11. All the book characters you’ve ever loved are people in your immediate friend circle. Who would you turn to:

a) to make a bucket list with you and go all over the world fulfilling each item on the list?

I think that the best travel buddies would be Merry and Pippin. Second breakfasts all around!

b) to plonk down next to you on that patch of moon land you guys bought, feel awesome, and somehow keep each other from dying of boredom until the next space shuttle comes to pick you up?

Does manga count? Because in that case, I would pick Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club. He’s got a never-ending supply of energy, and he’s great eye candy too. In fact, bring the whole host club, and we’ll throw a moon party!

c) when the world thinks you’re responsible for the attack on the entire human race by some random scary evil alien monsters and you are the only one who knows what they want but nobody will listen to you and you need somebody to help you save the world?

Ender knows aliens better than anyone, but I think he might be a little twerp, so I’ll choose Artemis Fowl instead. He’s my favorite boy genius, and he’s saved the world so many times already. Can’t wait to read the finale of that series soon!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So tag you’re it! I’m too lazy to notify you all individually, and some of you might have been tagged already, so just leave your answers in the comments! [UPDATE 8/10/12: I decided not to be lazy, and now you have all been notified on your "About Me" pages...so no excuses! Play with me!]

The Edmonton Tourist

Curmudgeon at Large

Bundle of Books

Hardcovers and Heroines

Wanton Creation

Karissa Knox Sorrell

Early Nerd Special

Faraway Universe

Bridget’s Books

Books and Bowel Movements

Book Snobbery

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My Questions

1. You have been put in charge of creating a new national holiday. What’s it called, and how do we celebrate?

2. You have been given an unlimited budget to make or remake a book’s film adaptation. Which book do you choose, and who would you cast?

3. Robots have now become our personal servants, but here’s the catch. You only get one robot, and it can only do one chore. What will it be?

4. It’s stay-in-and-do-nothing-night. What’s your reality show guilty pleasure?

5. You have been given a “Death Note” (look it up) where you can write any person’s name in it and that person will die. You can even describe their death in graphic detail. But you only can write down one name…who will it be?

6. Which Disney animal sidekick would you want as a friend?

7. You’re now in charge of a celebrity’s Twitter account. Who do you want to Tweet for, and what would your first Tweet be?

8. If you were a fragrance, what would you smell like?

9. If you could eat any one food and not gain weight or overall health issues, what would you eat?

10. What’s the one phrase or cliché that drives you the craziest?

11. You’ve hit the jackpot and won a romantic evening with the sexy celebrity of your choosing, but he/she hates your favorite book. Like burned it because they just could not stand the sight of it. Proceed canoodling anyway?

Ready…Set…GO! Anyone else reading this who wasn’t tagged is more than welcome to play along! Share your answers in the comment section!

Masterpiece Monday: 5 Classics I Will Never Read

Posted on by
7

Last week I discussed the five classic novels that I really want to read, and I’m happy to say that I’m making a dent on that list. I finished Francesca Segal’s The Innocents, and now I’ve moved on to Kafka’s The Trial. I haven’t read enough to make an opinion yet, but keep a look out for my review of The Innocents this week.

Today I want us to be completely honest. We all love books–there’s no denying that–but let’s face it, we don’t love all books. There are stories so bad that we wouldn’t touch them with a fifty foot pole. Most of these stories are easy to mock, like 50 Shades of Grey, but what happens when the literary world has dubbed them as masterpieces? Do we still voice our hatred or bury it deep down to avoid offending the literati?

Well, I’m not afraid of speaking my mind, so without further delay, these are the five classics I will never read, unless bribed or under threat of torture:

1. Moby Dick by Herman Melville (1851): I have disliked Melville ever since I read his short stories “Bartleby the Scrivener” and “Benito Cereno.” His writing is so dull and dry that I cannot imagine being able to read an entire novel about a man hunting a whale. I’m sure under the surface there’s some wonderful symbolism, but the surface makes me want to fall asleep. How can this guy have been neighbors with Nathaniel Hawthorne? That’s like saying Kristen Stewart lives next to Meryl Streep. They may both be in the same profession, but they might as well be on different planets. Call me Ishmael? Call me never.

2. The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner (1929): I’ve stated many times before that my least favorite writing style has to be stream of consciousness, of which Faulkner is king. If it wasn’t for Sparknotes, I would never have finished his Intruder in the Dust. It was such a frustrating reading experience that I swore off Faulkner forever. If I wanted to read insanely long, incoherent sentences which ramble about nothing of significance, I would work in politics.

3. Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf (1925): I wish that I liked Woolf, because I think she lived a fascinating life. Nicole Kidman played her beautifully in the film adaptation of Michael Cunningham’s The Hours. But I have never been so bored as when I read her novel To the Lighthouse. Almost nothing happens. The characters want to go to the lighthouse, but put it off for decades. By the time they go, some have died and it’s just not the same. I’m surprised that Woolf and Faulkner weren’t partners in a writing workshop, because Woolf’s stream of consciousness is just as bad.

4. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens (1843): This has to be the most overdone, cliché story of all time. Seriously, check out this Wikipedia page; it’s mind-boggling. I dislike most Christmas stories in general for being sappy lessons about morality and childhood innocence, but this one takes the cake. We get it: Scrooge is a humbug, and the three ghosts of his past, present, and future fill his heart with Christmas spirit. Excuse the Valley Girl reference, but gag me with a spoon. Dickens himself doesn’t suck, because I loved A Tale of Two Cities, but if A Christmas Carol was never adapted again, I think the world would be a better place.

5. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov (1955): Ok, if someone could write me an absolutely stellar review of this novel–like it changed your life forever–then I might consider reading this one, but only out of morbid curiosity. Let’s face it, Lolita is the most famous story about a pedophile ever written. I’m pretty squeamish, and I’m apprehensive about the emotional trauma that might occur from being stuck in the mind of a sick bastard. Nabokov is the only author on this list that I haven’t read personally, so I think it might be better to test out one of his other novels first.

Alright, I just unleashed a ton of controversial opinions, so feel free to share your own. Should we agree to disagree? Which books do you not want to waste time reading? Don’t be afraid to shout out your thoughts–trust me, it’s therapeutic!

Does Having Children Make You a Better Writer?

Posted on by
11

Maeve Binchy, who lived a wonderful, successful life full of affection, thank you very much, Ms. Craig

For the record, I’m having a pleasant low-key weekend while my parents are at the coast celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. Tonight one of my best friends is coming over for a girls movie night, and we’ll be binging on pizza, popcorn, and these delicious smores bars I’ve discovered.

However, yesterday I had a moment of blinding rage after I read this article by Amanda Craig in The Telegraph. The sub-heading lets you know this is going to be one rollercoaster of a read: “Does a female novelist need to have experienced childhood to truly understand human emotions?”

Why is she asking such a ridiculous question? She’s criticizing Maeve Binchy, an Irish writer who passed away earlier this week. Binchy’s sold more than 40 million copies of her books, has been featured in the New York Times bestseller list and Oprah’s book club, and won a “People of the Year” award in 2000.

But according to Craig, she would’ve been so much more successful if she had some babies too.

Starting with the photo caption, which states, “Maeve Binchy, who had no children on whom to lavish her affections,” this whole piece reeks of sanctimonious, patronizing, condescension. I cannot believe she has the gall to say that, “there is no practical difference between a man and a woman writer when the latter has not had children.” You know, because if you don’t use your womb, you might as well hand in your women’s ID card because it’s void now.

Let’s point out the real motive here: Craig is jealous. A writer with two children, she’s published six novels with relatively little fanfare. Oprah hasn’t chosen her for her book club. She moans that life is so hard when you’re trying to write and raise kids, so why can’t there be special mommy writing awards to celebrate all her extra hard work?

I have often wondered whether the Orange Prize should be renamed the Navel Orange Prize, given the difference in time and energy available to women writers before and after motherhood.

You’ve got to be kidding me! Craig is bitter at her relative lack of success compared to Binchy–and the echelon of childfree female authors, including Austen, Woolf, and the Bronte sisters–so instead she decides to judge a person’s career on their ability to reproduce.

Which by the way, is highly offensive, considering that many readers have commented that Binchy and her husband suffered from infertility. The woman just died, and you’re criticizing her life choices when she possibly didn’t choose them at all.

No matter what your experience of adult love, there is nothing as strong as the bond between a mother and a child.

I disagree wholeheartedly. Craig’s on a roll pouring salt into Binchy’s wounds, but even if Binchy was childfree-by-choice, this statement holds no weight. The bond between mother and child is just one kind of bond, and if you look to the likes of Casey Anthony, many women have not honored that bond. Love comes in many forms, between partners, spouses, friends, relatives, pets, etc. Love is not a hierarchy.

And by the way, men should also feel disgusted by this article for its inherent silence on fatherhood. Kafka and Poe never had children either, but you don’t see Craig judging childfree male authors. Are they somehow inferior to Hemingway or Fitzgerald because they didn’t create offspring?

Anyway, I could rant all day about this ridiculous piece of “journalism,” but I would love to hear your thoughts. I’ll just leave you with a final quote:

I make no moral claims for motherhood ­— which can bring out the worst in a person, in the form of vicarious rivalry, bitchiness, envy and even mental illness…

Finally, we agree on something, Ms. Craig, because motherhood has certainly brought out the worst in you.

Search Terms Lost in Translation

Posted on by
2

No matter what your subject matter, it’s always amusing to see what search engine terms have led people to your blog. One of my favorite book bloggers over at 101books.net shared his latest batch of search questions today, so I thought that I would offer some of mine, conveniently categorized into the cool, the confusing, and the kinky (it’s an alliterative kind of day!)

The Cool

i’m katniss and i know it

Ooo, is there a Hunger Games parody of that catchy “I’m Sexy and I Know It” song by LMFAO? I can picture Katniss dancing in a Gale and Peeta sandwich like some Vegas go-go dancer. Somebody, be a dear and send me the link, because this would be sweet!

tattoos guys would get for their mom

Aw, isn’t that adorable? Whoever typed this in, I hope you found an inspirational quote or song lyric that your mother would’ve loved. Just be careful with portraits, as I’m sure you saw plenty of horrendously bad examples that make loved ones look like demons from Japanese horror films. So I’m glad you’re doing your research!

Monday poems

Hmmm, if I wrote a poem about Monday, what would it be? “It must be hard for Monday, whom no one’s ever liked. But Monday can be Fun Day, if your coffee has been spiked!” JUST KIDDING! Who am I, Kathie Lee and Hoda? I certainly don’t condone going to work buzzed, but why not cheer yourself up by reading Masterpiece Monday? It’s an instant mood-booster!

The Confusing

ed westwick teeth

I have referenced actor Ed Westwick before, when discussing the richest fictional characters, but this search term has me stumped. Do you like his teeth, or are you being a bigot toward the British? Have you seen the rest of him, because I think you might be missing the point. The man behind the best bad boy on TV, Chuck Bass, has great hair, amazing style, and brooding eyes…but his teeth are alright too, if you’re into that, I guess.

hogwarts teacher table

Are you interested in some literary home decor ideas? Or do you mean an organizational table with all the Hogwarts teachers on it, maybe categorized by subject? I hope it’s the former, because now I’m imagining an HGTV for fictional settings, and I would definitely watch that!

diagram society hunger games

I have a feeling you meant “dystopian,” since “diagram” makes no sense to me. Highly doubt this person meant Venn diagrams, pie charts, and bar graphs. Any guesses, readers?

The Kinky

naked women wearing glasses

I didn’t know that discussing my LASIK surgery would make me vulnerable to pervy search terms, so all I can say to this person is that I’m sorry you didn’t find what you were looking for. I know that people might get the wrong idea from a blog called “Book Club Babe,” but I am not a sexy secretary, schoolgirl, or librarian. Can you imagine what the women over at InsatiableBooksluts.com have to deal with?

glasses sex pics

Oh, now you’re just being lazy. At least the other guy included the word “women.” If you’re going to objectify, you deserve objects only. I hope that you stumbled upon some freaky site of two pairs of glasses going at it, like some Stanton Optical commercial gone awry.

sex poems for my boyfriend

Well, I guess this could be worse. At least you sound like a giving lover. I would personally recommend “To His Coy Mistress” by Andrew Marvell, which is like a classier version of an Akon or Pitbull song. Although I must add, nothing says “I love you,” like something homemade!

There you have it! The coolest, most confusing, and kinkiest search terms I’ve gotten so far. What did you think? Can you top mine? I’d love to hear some of your gems!